It Takes Two.

Obviously, it takes two to form a relationship and/or a marriage. But that's not what I'm referring to. In fact, what I'm going to talk about today may shock you...

It takes two to plan a wedding.

Well, more than two. But I'm not talking about two (or three or fifty) women- I'm talking about a boy and a girl. I think most people have this idea that the groom just sits back while the bride and her mom do everything, and he just shows up on the right day with a tux on, or so we hope. But I haven't found this to be true, at least in our case. Gearing up to start this planning adventure has reminded me of one of the important reasons that Travis and I work well together.

Pretty much my first task was budget. I knew my parents had an overall number in mind, but I asked them to ever-so-kindly break that number down into a bulleted list, suggesting a max price for each piece. Such as, "We think $XXX is the upper limit for the photographer," and, "The reception venue should not cost more than $XXX."

Unfortunately, I had forgotten that my parents were married in the 1980's, when prices were slightly different. In short, they had no idea how to break up a big number into the type of lovely bulleted list which I (thought I) so desperately needed.

Cue my first panic attack. Now, I'm not really a panicky person, nor am I a micro-manager. However, I am very detail-oriented. I like lists (with bullet points!). I'm good at looking at one piece at a time. Big pictures make me nervous- so much so that the idea of figuring out my own budget by doing all my own research made me want to lie down and cry. All I wanted was someone to tell me, "This is a reasonable price for photography. This is a reasonable price for flowers." Just hand it to me!

And this is where Travis came in. Because while I am focused on the details, he can see the whole shebang. The idea of large amounts of research in order to form a budget, while terrifying to me, is really fun for him. He's a terrible speller because he'd rather get the idea down than worry about spelling the words correctly. I hate research. He likes research. He will waffle forever before making a purchase. Consumer Report is very important to him. (Hence, he'll be choosing the brand of whatever household appliances we may choose to register for.) Get the picture?

(Photo Source)

Here's what I see.

(Photo source)

Here's what he sees.

Without Travis, I get bogged down and stressed out by all the minutia.
Without me, Travis forgets everything. (Really. He forgot the ring when he proposed! Luckily, having an inkling and hope of what might occur, I asked him, "Are you sure you didn't forget anything in your car we might need at the lake...?")

So, when I called him freaking out, having been engaged for a grand total of three days, he was able to calm me down, help me pull back and get perspective, and assure me that everything was going to be okay, as long as we did it together.

In short, some brides may be able to pull off a wonderful wedding without any male assistance at all- but I know I'd never get there without my groom. :)